So schön in Berlin zu sein.
My partner stevie (The DJ from Strange Natures) and I in a mirror outside of a subway stop in Mitte, Berlin.
I’m currently 6 days into my “new life” in Germany, and there’s already so much learning and honestly, a lot of things that I already want to question about “the way things are”. I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be American, what it means to travel, what it means to move abroad, and what it means to bring the politics I’ve gathered as a queer white American to the places I land.
This year, Germany cut its arts funding to the independent performing arts scene by 50%, this is not including the state and city-wide funding cuts that are expected everywhere. Unfortunately, the far right extremist party, “Alternative for Germany” (AfD) just won its first election in Thuringia. I’ve not entered Germany during the most ideal time, though to be frank, most of the world is sliding towards fascism or revolution.
Within all of this, many of the conversations I’ve had with people that I’ve met so far have been along the lines of “Berlin is over”, “you have to struggle first to earn your keep here”, “it’s hard….. well… viel glück! I’m going to bed now”, and “now there’s no funding”. Two things are existing in me as I keep having these conversations- what am I bringing as an American that will help me navigate these issues of oversaturation and underfunding, both good and bad? And why is this community so uninterested in solving the problems that people are facing, but rather, are shrugging their shoulders and saying well that's just how it is? In some ways it feels like this nonchalance stance on the problems of the performing arts scene is directly correlated to the slide towards fascism that Germany experienced in the 1930s and now today, the patterns are the same.
Of course there are huge circumstances to mobilizing and speaking out as artists here, Germany has been censoring artists and deporting foreign artists speaking out about Palestine since October. So in that way, I understand that Berlin is over, but funders in the US have always been very choosy in how they give out their money, especially in regards to Palestine.
But as artists, I believe that is a sign for us to push harder and connect our communities together in a giant web to protect each other, making sure that our most vulnerable are safe.
So in regards to how I exist as an American, I feel that as a member of Control Group, I can’t help but feel a bit scrappy and defiant in terms of the way things are. Europe has existed as a beacon for state funding for American artists for decades, meanwhile we have had to find new and subversive ways to make our art outside of the usual ways. I know that much of this comes from the American/colonizer/capitalist mindset of hyper-individualism and manifest destiny- I WILL defy the odds and make this work, even if it ends up destroying X,Y, and Z in the process. But at the same time, I am constantly looking around at communities that inspire me, are making things work, AND getting paid OUTSIDE of these systems that “classically trained” artists are existing in like Ballroom, art markets, tattoo artists, and underground music. I feel like Europeans will have to look around at the rest of the world, and become active again in how we are making things together, at least until the revolution.
And in regards to the notion of the “you’re on your own, kid,” of it all…I simply refuse that statement. It goes against everything that I believe in and fight for as an artist. Patrick and I have a policy of meeting with anyone who sends us an email. While in Denver, I was actively making sure that I took any new dancer that I met out for coffee. Obviously, Berlin is a much bigger scale, but I find myself a bit floored by the way that everyone, including the auslanders, have taken on the stereotype of German “coldness”. Why do we choose to perpetuate the struggles and hardships that we endured on the next generation? I thought that we as a global community of contemporary artists had moved past that. I plan on being as adamant about community here in Berlin as I was in Denver. How else are we going to survive all these things that we shrug off in order to feel comfortable.
There’s many ideas that are swimming around within this little post, but for now, I’m writing this as a promise to myself and to you all, that I’ll keep centering community and finding subversive ways of making things happen.
-Caroline
